Don't Let Me Drown
by Aquilara
Summary: When family expectations rule over your life it is easy to know who you should be, but it's so hard to find out who you really are, let alone who you actually want to be. Joanna realises that when she is confronted with someone who is so similar to herself and yet so different. Will they both drown under the pressure that is thrust upon them or will they drag each other out alive?
1. Chapter One

**A/N: Welcome to the crazy ride that is my first actual attempt at a multichapter fanfiction. Let me know what your first impressions are and constructive criticism his highly welcomed by the way. Even, or especially, regarding grammar, syntax or semantics, because English is not my first language and I probably still make a lot of mistakes.**

 **Either way, I hope you enjoy the first chapter and I'll hopefully see you soon for the second ;)**

 **Julia aka. Auqilara**

 _Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Harry Potter and do not earn any money with this._

 ** _Don't Let Me Drown_**

Chapter One – Of Eagles, Badgers, Lions and Snakes

A high-pitched screech that vaguely sounded human, tore Joanna abruptly from a pleasant dream. Startled, she opened her eyes, needing a few moments to realise that she was still in the little train compartment, on the way to begin her sixth year at Hogwarts.

She ran a hand over her face, trying to wipe the lingering drowsiness from her forest green eyes. "What by Merlin's beard was that?"

Her friend Dorcas, who sat across from her, shrugged. "Sounded a bit like Lily Evans, wouldn't you say?"

"I'd say more like a cat hit by a disintegration curse," Joanna replied sceptically, while trying to pull her long, from sleep dishevelled chocolate brown hair back into a ponytail.

Another shrill sound rang through the train, followed by a series of almost comprehensible, screamed words.

"I take that back, it's clearly Evans."

A sly smile crept onto Dorcas face. "I bet she just found out that James Potter was made Head Boy."

Joanna looked up to her blond friend in surprise. Potter and his little gang of friends spend more time in detention than in actual classes. "He is Head Boy this year? How did that happen?"

Dorcas shrugged again. "Don't ask me. Maybe his parents bribed Dumbledore." A small, seemingly sympathetic smile began to spread across her lips. "Now I don't envy you so much anymore for being a Prefect. You are going to have to endure that up close, Jo."

Joanna had become a Ravenclaw Prefect last year and had been immensely proud of that little blue and bronze badge ever since, but right now she viewed it rather as a punishment than a reward. At least for her eardrums.

A dark little chuckle escaped Jo and she shook her head slightly. "I'm not looking forward to the screaming, but I do think that their interactions hold something oddly comical most of the time."

Dorcas gave her a doubting look, but before she was able to say anything, the door to the small compartment they shared was suddenly pushed open and a head popped through.

"Finally, there you are Green. We should have meet up with the others five minutes ago! Come on, or our brand-new Heads will have mangle each other to death before we even arrive."

Head and voice belonged to Anthony Caldwell, the other sixth year Ravenclaw Prefect, who now stood at the compartment door, looking expectantly Joanna's way.

Feeling embarrassed, she rose immediately from her seat. "Oh, I'm so sorry Caldwell! I fell asleep and-"

He raised his hand in annoyance, shutting her up. "Do I look like I care? Let's go."

After acknowledging Dorcas presence with a nod that was accompanied by a short, bored sounding "Meadows.", he turned to leave.

Joanna grimaced behind his back, before she followed him dutifully.

When they arrived at the compartment where the Prefect meeting took place, Jo was surprised by the lack of screaming. It was eerily silent. But when Anthony moved in front of her and opened the door, she had to rein herself in as to not break out laughing at the picture revealed to her.

Lily Evans sat petrified on the bench on the right of the spacious compartment, her loose fiery hair the only thing moving, as it danced slightly from the small airstream the opened door had created. Her features were frozen in an expression that almost suggested she was in physical pain. The little Head Girl badge had been proudly and securely pinned to her robes.

Next to her, sat a nonchalant James Potter with a similar little badge on his robes, but a mischievous grin plastered on his face. He was chatting animatedly with Lupin and McKinnon, the seven year Gryffindor Prefects, and appeared to do his best to actively ignore the Slytherins in the room.

Potter looked up as the two Ravenclaws entered. "Green, Caldwell, good, now we are complete." He shot a lopsided grin Evan's way. "Lily, would you like to begin to enlighten them all about this year's plans?"

The redhead beside him swallowed visibly, as if she tried to keep herself from shouting insults at him. " _Sure, Potter_." She took a deep breath and turned to address the Prefects around her.

"This year is going be all about promoting the Inter-House unity. The Heads of Houses have thought it to be advantageous to strengthen the relationships between the Houses regarding the recent horrible events that shook our society. We need to face any oncoming threats together, without letting some petty, childish rivalries divide us."

Evans stopped there for a moment, pulled a few parchments from her bag and started handing them out to everyone. "This is going to be your new plan for your Prefect rounds. Where you only patrolled with your partner from your respective House last year, you will only be paired off with one fellow Prefect from a different House this year. The purpose of this is to have you guys act as a role model for other students, showing off how Inter-House friendships are possible and hopefully helping to tighten the relations between the Houses in the process."

At first Joanna felt quite indifferent to this news. She really wouldn't miss spending time with Caldwell that much. Most of the time that boy was such a conceited prat. But after she moved to take one of the parchments, she frowned when she spotted _Joanna Helena Green_ on the handwritten list right next to a _Regulus Arcturus Black_.

She knew he was a Slytherin from her year, he even sat in her Transfiguration class since first year, but she never actually exchanged a word with him. He had always been rather silent in class and carried constantly a frosty attitude about himself. She knew the various rumours about him though, and none of them helped to paint a positive picture of him.

Why couldn't she be paired up with one of those nice and friendly Hufflepuff Prefects…then again, since when did she let gossip influence her opinion? She thought herself to be at least smarter than that.

Looking up from the parchment, she immediately caught his eyes from across the room.

He was staring at her intensely. While his face remained in its usual cold mask of indifference, his bright grey eyes were filled with something Joanna couldn't quite pinpoint.

Resentment? Or even disgust? She didn't know. It was clear though, that he did not like this new development at all. He probably already mentally cursed the person that put his name next to that of the most annoying Ravenclaw swot.

At least that was what Jo imagined he must be thinking.

Getting uncomfortable with the sudden unwanted attention on her person, she finally broke the eye contact and tried to concentrate on Potter, who seemed to have already been talking for a few seconds.

"… yeah, a shame, I know, but at least they repay us all with a hopefully grand party. There is going to be a ball before Christmas break to advertise Inter-House friendships further. Shitty thing is though, that everyone needs to bring a date from another House. But oh well, we'll manage, right?"

He gave Evans another of his brilliant similes, who tried her best to ignore him, and then clapped his hands together. "Okay, that's all there is to discuss for now guys, enjoy the rest of the train ride."

Unhappy mummer spread through the room while everyone slowly started to leave, taking in these new plans for the oncoming schoolyear.

Joanna tried to hide her amused smile, when Evans moved past her muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "At least he cannot pester me to go with him to that thing" under her breath.

However, that smile faded quickly from her face as she noticed that Black's cold, steel grey eyes were still fixed on her form. Trying to hide her uneasiness, she quickly turned to leave the compartment as well.

Outside, letting a deep breath of air fill her lungs, she started to make her way back to Dorcas.

The image of Black's disapproving eyes staring at her had burned itself onto the back of her brain. Trying to shake it from her mind she told herself that she didn't care what Black thought of her. She didn't care what anyone thought of her. All she did cared about was achieving what was expected of her.

With all her N.E.W.T classes starting this term, Joanna had hardly any time to worry about if someone dislikes her.

It will be difficult enough for her to make some time for Quidditch practice this year, but that was the only thing she allowed herself to do just for fun. She savoured every little moment up in the air and was not that bad of a Chaser for the Ravenclaw team.

She couldn't give that up. It wasn't an option.

It had taken so much effort to persuade her father into letting her play in the first place.

Which meant that she needed to put all her energy and remaining free time into studying twice as hard for her classes or she would never be good enough to obtain a high position in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, let alone a seat on the Wizengamot.

A flash of icy coldness spread through her whole body at the thought of how much disappointment and shame she would cause her father if she failed to accomplish her goal. Her limbs began to turn numb and Joanna needed to close her eyes for a moment, taking another deep breath to calm herself down.

No. She really had no time to waste on such irrelevant thoughts.


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N: Hello, yes I'm back! Thank you so much for every review, follow and favourite so far. Every kind of response makes me very happy, so keep telling me what you think**

 **I will try to update at least once a week to not keep you guys waiting so long, but for now, back to the story. I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Two – Of Blue Birds and Silver Knights

The first week of school went by quickly and without any noteworthy interruptions for Joanna, though she could feel the increased degree of difficulty comparing her N.E.W.T classes to her O.W.L ones from last year. That realization caused her to already start throwing herself deep into studying, which even earned her strange looks from some fellow Ravenclaw students, who spotted her in the common room absolutely absorbed in her work.

Sometimes she was able to make out their hushed whispers as they talked to each other after noticing her. The words nerd, swot and overachiever, she was able to make out more than once, but that was nothing new. A few times she deciphered something like "Oh, look, Miss Perfect at her favourite activity again…" or "Miss Perfect started early this year, even by her standards…" That nickname had stuck with her since third year. It had been the term she ranked in all of her classes under the best three students for the first time and on top of that started to prove her talent as Chaser in Quidditch matches.

They viewed her as this obnoxious and annoyingly perfect little girl, but she was certain that she was very far from being perfect. What they never actually saw was that she didn't like studying so hard, she has never done this for fun. To maintain her grades, though, she needed to work probably twice as hard as any other student who received similar ones. Joanna had to sacrificed her entire free time, or else she would fall back into a quite average field, and displease her father tremendously in the process. She would bring so much shame to her family if she would fail to reach the appropriate grades to get the expected position in the Ministry, like everyone in her family before her.

But still, "Miss Perfect" was not a cute little nickname, or a complement, it was meant as a sardonic insult, maliciously uttered behind her back. Or, depending on the person, sometimes directly to her face. Especially many of her housemates loved to use that name for her.

While some may think that Ravenclaws carry a different mindset regarding an extensive strive for excellent grades, they could be as judgemental as everyone else. Occasionally they were even worse, because many felt an additional envy or resentment towards individuals who were better than them. It's all about academic success with the blue Eagles, and while most of them are really hard-working and diligent, a few would probably sell their own grandmothers without the slightest qualm, if that would help them to come out on top of everyone else.

Joanna had seen often enough with her own eyes how one housemate stabbed the other ruthlessly in the back when the opportunity arose to profit from it, which lead her to distrust most of her fellow Ravenclaws. Dorcas was the only one she let herself truly trust enough to call her a friend. Not that she actually had any time for other friends.

Although they did often learn together, this early into the term Dorcas would usually keep Joanna silently company in the common room when she worked, not seeing the need for starting herself yet. Today was Saturday though, and she was probably spending her first weekend in Hogwarts catching up with one of her other friends.

That meant Joanna spend the whole day alone with her books in the Ravenclaw Tower. She didn't really mind, because she loved it's tranquil atmosphere.

Their common room was round in shape and the clear lines of the interior design reminded of old Greek architecture. Mostly light colours had been used, white and cream tones, the expected blue and bronze only appearing as little highlights in between.

During the daytime, light flooded through the enormous windows, which also provided the inhabitants with the best view Hogwarts had to offer. Looking down upon the grounds from one of the Ravenclaw Tower windows you could effortlessly imagine yourself being a bird.

Every now and then Joanna's attention would stray away from the black ink words of one of her many books, distracted by an actual bird flying by one of these tall windows. Then, she would always allow her dark green eyes to follow it for a few moments, mesmerized by its beauty and envying it for its carefreeness, until she ultimately chided herself for getting side-tracked that easily and forces her attention back to her book.

Caught in one of those little moments again this Saturday evening, she wasn't the one who brought herself back into reality, but a silhouette which appeared suddenly in her field of vision.

" _Joanna_ , Georgina Ashworth just talked in the Great Hall about how you are paired up with _Regulus Black_ in this strange new plan for the Prefects this year, is that true?"

Joanna recognized the disgruntled sounding voice immediately as Dorcas, but her vision needed several seconds to adjust, after being so suddenly torn away from her little daydream. She looked up at the blond girl, whose brilliant blue eyes were fixed on her, demanding an answer.

"Um… yes?" she replied without confidence, not sure of why that caused so much irritation in her friend.

Dorcas huffed in annoyance and let herself slide into the chair across from Joanna. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Still confused about the anger she seemed to have brought over Dorcas unsuspectedly, she just shrugged. "I'm sorry, I just did not deem it relevant enough to mention."

Dorcas gave her an incredulous look. "Not relevant enough? Are you kidding me?" Seeing the puzzled expression appear on Joanna's face, she leaned a little over the table and continued speaking in a hushed voice. "Jo, haven't you heard all these horrible rumours about him?"

"Oh come on Dorcas, you don't really listen to such vicious gossip, do you?" Joanna shot back in disbelief.

She shrugged. "Normally not, Jo, you know that, but with all the things they say about him and a few of his Slytherins friends, there has to be some truth to at least a few of those rumours."

"And that truth would be?"

Dorcas sighed exasperated. "I don't really know, okay? I mean, they say a lot of atrocious stuff about him. That he and his friends curse first years in dark corridors, that he used a Cruciatus on someone last year. Some even say he belongs that group of pure-blood fanatic Slytherins who already swore their allegiance to Voldemort."

Joanna looked at her doubtfully. "Do you really believe all that?"

"As I said, I don't really know what to believe and what not," groaned Dorcas "I just know that I would trust that guys as far as I can throw him. And you need to do rounds with him tonight, don't you?"

Frowning, Joanna gave a short nod. She had almost forgotten that their first round together had been scheduled for today.

"See, I'm just concerned," said Dorcas gently. "I don't have a good feeling about leaving you alone with him for half of the night."

Smiling softly at her friend, Joanna shook her head lightly, "Oh, please don't worry, Dorcas. I'm not trying to argue that he appears to be a rather unpleasant guy, but I doubt that any of these rumours are true. Don't you think Dumbledore would know, if that was the case? He would have already been expelled from school long ago. All this gossip just emerges from these stupid prejudices we all have against each other and that we need to overcome at some point. You now, I think that's exactly what this odd Inter-House friendship endeavour tries to achieve. Maybe this will actually turn out to be a good thing."

Dorcas didn't seem quite convinced. "Whatever you say, Jo. All I ask is that you promise me to watch your back when you're alone with him, okay? And, of course, that you tell me of something like this next time."

Joanna warm smile grew a little wider at seeing how much Dorcas seemed to genuinely care about her wellbeing.

"Promised."

When Joanna arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall later that evening to meet up with her new Prefect partner, she already spotted him waiting for her. He hadn't noticed her yet, which gave her time to stop to quickly check her watch, scared she might be already late.

No, she wasn't too late, he was just over-punctual.

Feeling quite relieved by that, she began to approach him once more.

He finally noticed her presence when she was only a few feet away from him. Looking up, he immediately fixated her with his gaze. While his expression was as emotionless as ever, his steel coloured eyes looked at her in the same way they did on the train. Definitely not happy to see her.

"Green, right?", he asked, sounding quite annoyed.

Joanna just nodded like some dense dimwit, not finding herself able to utter a coherent sentence, let alone one word, with those judgemental, piercing grey eyes staring her down.

He raised an eyebrow at her sheepish reaction, but apparently decide to ignore it. "Then let's get this over and done with."

Without another word, he released her from his gaze and took off in the direction of the stairs. Joanna shook off the embarrassment of how stupid she acted and hurried to follow him.

After their initial encounter Joanna thought she would not be able to bear a whole night of awkward tension in his company, but she was mistaken. They quickly settled into tolerable silence, as they walked side by side through the corridors. It helped that she wasn't able to see the aversion he felt towards her in his eyes from this angle. She could work with the silence.

It was long after curfew and they still hadn't exchange another word, when Joanna noticed a dark figure at the far end of the dimly lit corridor they traversed.

"Black," she addressed him in a hushed voice, placing a hand lightly on his arm to get his attention.

He jerked slightly under her touch, but swiftly turned to her with a sneer on his face. "What? Suddenly the mute is able to talk?"

Joanna raised a finger to her lips, her forest green eyes flashing warningly.

"Shhh! Don't be so loud, there is someone," she whispered lowly and then pulled her finger away again to point in the direction of her discovery. "Can't you see?"

The figure stood exactly at the same spot, unmoving.

The sneer faded from Black's features as he concentrated on the area she had pointed out to him.

Joanna looked at him expectantly. They needed to be careful about this if they wanted to find out who it was that dared to roam through the school this late after curfew. His reaction, though, was far from what she had expected-

He suddenly broke out into roaring laughter.

Shocked at his unforeseen behaviour, Joanna found herself only able to stare at him. Never even once had she seen a genuine smile on his face, hearing him all of the sudden burst out laughing like a mad man was immensely surreal to her. His usually frosty façade had not only cracked, but shattered completely in an blink of an eye.

Black needed a few moments to collect himself again. Still chuckling a little, he ran a hand through his short black hair and let his eyes, which missed the former resentful expression and instead held a few tears from extensive laughing, focus on Joanna.

"Oh yes, Green, I think that armour stand over their deserves at least two weeks of detention for being outside his dormitory at this scandalously late hour."

Baffled, Joanna tried to block out the obviously very amused Black for a second and approached the still unmoving, shady figure. It couldn't be… or could it?

Oh, it definitely could.

Standing merely a few feet away from it, she was now able to make out its polished metal skin. It was not a human being, it was only a decorative stand wearing a set of knight's amour.

Groaning heavily, Joanna buried her face in her hands, feeling the embarrassment wash over her for the second time this day and beginning to seriously doubt her level of intelligence. Behind her back, she could hear Black laughing a little again, while beginning to catch up to her.

Deciding to ignore him she stared sheepishly at the knight in front of her.

She sensed Black's presence directly behind her, as he leaned in a bit to whisper into her ear. "Do you think we should take him directly to Dumbledore? That bloke is not only extremely dodgy, but also has quite the dangerous look about him, don't you think?"

His voice had adopted a teasing tone and his warm breath against her ear caused a shiver to run through her body. She jerked away from his sudden physical closeness and turned around to face him. "Very funny, Black. Glad to know that my stupidity is so highly amusing to you."

He gave her a cocky half-smile. "That it is. Though I have to say I am quite surprised. I heard that you are supposed to be the smartest witch in our year. A proper Miss Perfect."

Joanna huffed in annoyance. She felt the urge to throw every awful rumour she had ever heard about him at his smug face, but, remembering she was indeed alone with him in an abandoned corridor, managed to contain herself and instead settled for a false smile and frosty sarcasm.

"You're welcome, but I think our round is over for today. Thank you for your wonderful company and have a pleasant remaining night."

She immediately turned around and walked away from him without another word, beginning to make her way purposefully back to the Ravenclaw Tower. Before she could vanish around the corner, she heard him shout out: "You are quite the peculiar Ravenclaw, Green. Until next time!"

Back at her dormitory, Dorcas was still awake, apparently waiting for her return. When she saw Joanna enter, she sighed in relief. "You're not dead. That's good."

Joanna let herself unceremoniously fall onto her bed. "Yup."

"How did it go?"

Groaning unhappily, she popped herself up one elbow to look at Dorcas. "Great. I'm stupid, but don't worry, he is just an arse."

Dorcas gave her a questioning look. "Should I even ask further?"

"Nope."

"Okay, I won't, but know that you can tell me if you want to. Sleep well, Jo."

Joanna muttered a "You too." and tried to do just that, but when she closed her eyes, all she could see was a pair of amused looking, piercing grey eyes before her mind's eye.

How very peculiar.


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N: Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, this is actually an update. I am terribly sorry it took THAT long. You know how it is, sometimes that thing called 'life' gets in the way. I will be doing my best to not let so much time pass again without an update. I stop babbling now and let you hopefully have fun with the new chapter!**

Chapter - Of Flying Books and Helping Hands

The atmosphere of general excitement to be back at Hogwarts had died down after the second week of classes, making space for the routine that was everyday life. Since her disastrous first prefect round with a certain black haired Slytherin, Joanna had caught her gaze wander unintentionally into his direction more than once when she was in the same room with him. And every time her eyes found his form, his icy demeanour was firmly back into place. Nothing indicated that his face was even able to produce a smile, yet alone a sincere laugh, like the one that she had witnessed not long ago. At some point Joanna was almost convinced that she had imagined the whole encounter, but she was sure enough of her mental sanity that she was able to quickly discard that thought again.

Not wanting to waste any more thought on the mystery that suddenly appeared to be Regulus Black for her, she went back to trying to stay focused in her Transfiguration class, instead of secretly observing his every move.

Transfiguration was one of her weaker spots so she could not afford to be distracted by something so meaningless. She understood the theory of it all mostly, but the problem was, that she somehow was not able to connected it with the actual practice of performing these spells.

And her problem became quite obvious again earlier that day. She was supposed to turn Dorcas hair blue, but instead she accidently gave her tiny blue whiskers. It took Madame Pomfrey two hours to get rid of them. Joanna felt terrible after that fiasco. She apologized at least a thousand times to Dorcas and then hurried to get into the library, trying to find information that would help her solving her difficulties with that spell.

After sitting there for another two hours, trying to find anything that would be useful to her, she was on the brink of despair. It was only the second week of classes and she already did not manage to understand something, that most of her classmates had mastered with ease. How, by Merlin's great beard, would she be able to get the marks she needed so badly this year with a start like this?

A cold shudder came over her. She could not fail. But it was already happening and she did not know how to stop it. Clenching her teeth didn't stop the hot anger she felt at herself beginning run through her veins. A short growl escaped her lips as the burning sensation overwhelmed her. With one forceful movement of her arm she wiped the towers of books that had piled in front of her from the table. They clattered noisily to the ground, as she felt tears starting to burn behind her dark green eyes. She was such a disappointment. The hot anger had suddenly transformed into shame.

As Joanna propped her elbows on the table and laid her face down into her hands, as if to bury her shame, she heard the sound of someone clearing their throat loudly behind her. There was someone directly behind her. Someone who surly must have witnessed her whole outburst. At first, she thought it to be Miss Prince, the librarian, who was probably going to lecture her about upholding the sacred silence of the library and not treating the precious books in such a manner. But Joanna realised quickly that the voice sounded far too masculine to belong to that little, annoying woman.

Either way, Joanna was too exhausted to care anyways and went with ignoring whoever was interrupting her little breakdown. That person, though, did not seem to be satisfied with her lack of response.

"And here I though all Ravenclaws love their books more than their own mothers", the voice said behind her, clearly somehow amused "I definitely love _my_ mother as much as you apparently love your books."

Joanna did not recognize the now obviously male voice, but it did sound somehow familiar to her. This, however, still provided no motivation for her to lift her head out of her hands and investigate the possible intruder. The person belonging to the voice on the other hand did not seem to be disheartened by that.

"Oh hey, come on, it was just a joke." he said and she heard him slowly slide down into the chair next to her "though I have to admit it's not one of my funniest."

He paused for a moment and then Joanna heard a little chuckle coming from him "You should have heard the one with the auror and the potion brewer, who stepped into a bar together. One word: hilarious."

Joanna still made no move to respond, whishing that person would just get up again and leave her the hell alone. He seemed to slowly get that she was in no mood to joke, because the trace of amusement had left his voice, when he spoke again.

"Hey, are you okay?"

She felt a rush of anger flooding through her veins again. She jerked her head with a fast upward movement out of her hands and was about to tell this person to leave her, by Merlin, _alone!_ But her words stopped abruptly at the edge of her tongue as she suddenly looked into her intruders eyes and realised who it was that choose to sit beside her in the deserted library.

They belonged to _Sirius_ _Black_.

She looked into _Sirius_ _Black's_ eyes.

He was sitting in the chair next to her, looking at her questioningly with concern written all over his face.

Why, by Merlin's underwear, was _Sirius_ _Black_ talking to her?!

She had never even seen him in the library before.

He was one of the most popular students at Hogwarts, who had guys envying him and lots of girls swooning after him. And was definitely no regular library visitor. It was quite possible that he did not even know of her existents, so why was he sitting in front of her now, looking more and more concerned by the second?

Oh yes, because she had still not uttered a word and was now starring at him wide-eyed like a deer caught in the headlights.

She shook herself a little, trying to stop her ridiculous behaviour "Ehm… sorry. I-…I was distracted."

"I can see that.", Black said, his face easing up a little now that he knew that his little joke did not seem to have mortally insulted her. He nodded his head in the direction of the books that were spread onto the ground. "So what did these do to you to deserve such a harsh treatment?", he asked with a reassuring smile, that gave Joanna's heart a little pause. _Oh God, how can someone be that handsome?_ After realizing what she was thinking, she immediately chided herself mentally. What a silly and irrelevant thought to have right now. Joanna closed her eyes for a second and pushed that thought into the last corner of her mind, while trying to focus on his question. Onto something relevant.

"I…. I got a bit angry about something.", she answered eventually, while trying to keep her voice nonchalant.

A little laugh escaped Black at that "I assumed as much. I was just wondering what would have caused a Ravenclaw, who are normally disgustingly well behaved, to act so… so…" his mouth formed a lopsided smile as he searched for the right word "… _rebellious_?"

Joanna looked at him suspiciously and shook her head "Why would you even care?" From her sitting position she began to reach for the books on the ground, starting to put them back onto the table, one by one, while trying to not breaking eye contact with Black "You do not even know my name."

His expression darkened for a moment, but he seemed to force that little smile back when he spoke again "Of course I know your name, Green." His smile grew slowly bigger "How could I forget, ever since that game a year ago, when you threw me of my broom with that wayward Quaffle."

Making a strange moaning sound out of embarrassment, she hid her face behind the book she had just picked up. She remembered that. It had been the second game of the season. Ravenclaw against Gryffindor. After half an hour was played, Ravenclaw had been ten points behind Gryffindor. They needed to score. But every time Joanna thought there to be an opening she could work with, she had been immediately cut off again by the same Gryffindor chaser. She was not able to shake him, so she grew a little bit despaired and thought of a creative, but quite risky move. She planned to feint a pass to her fellow chaser, but actually to throw the Quaffle over the annoying Gryffindor chaser with as much force as she could muster, then quickly dive away under him to catch it again on the other side. Let's just say it didn't quite go as planned.

"I'm sorry, I never really apologized.", she muttered behind her book.

She heard him laugh warmly "It's okay, Green. It was just a few bruises. Happens. Quidditch can be a harsh sport. And don't forget, you certainly got worse out of it." And he was right, she had been banned from their next match because of it.

Joanna felt the book in front of her being gently pulled out of her grip. Now, that she had nothing to hide behind, she saw that his grey eyes were sparkling with amusement. "And you know, I do have to give it to you, that move could have actually been quite good. If it had worked. And you can throw pretty hard" a mischievous expression appeared on his face "I mean, for a girl."

Joanna huffed in annoyance and resumed to pick up her books, acting like he wasn't even here anymore.

"I was just teasing you", Black said, still clearly amused.

The sound of chair legs scratching over wooden floor reached Joanna's ears in the next moment. For a second she thought he must have finally had enough of her and got up to leave. But that thought turned out to be wrong, when she saw a pair of hands moving into her field of vision, gathering some of the books, placing them back onto the table.

With the unexpected help, the ground was quickly becoming book-free again and as he picked up the last one, Joanna lifted her gaze to meet his warm grey eyes with her dark green ones.

"Thank you", she said sincerely. Suddenly she wondered how his and his brothers eyes could be so perfectly similar in colour, and yet still so utterly different in every other way. Transfixed by that thought, she continued to stare into his eyes, until he broke the eye contact to read the title of the book that still rested in his hands.

After another moment of silence had passed, he spoke again.

"You're welcome", he said quietly and turned the book in his hands so that she was able to read its title "So what is the problem between you and _Transfiguration through the Ages_?"

Joanna groaned and mentioned to the various Transfiguration books now piled back up on the table "To be honest it's more like a problem between me and Transfiguration in general." She put one elbow on the table and rested her head in her hand "I do get the theory of it all, but I simply cannot manage to actually perform most of these spells. I even gave my friend accidently blue whiskers today in class…"

Black laughed a little "That would be great prank, though. You defiantly have to show me that one day." Jonna closed her eyes in embarrassment. As he continued, his voice sounded more serious "But, to be honest, if you are really having some problems with Transfiguration practice, I don't think studying all books the library offers on that topic is going to help you much."

Joanna was taken aback by that statement "What else am I supposed to do, if not study?" she shook her head in disbelief "Just go and except that I'm a failure?"

"No, of course not…", Black said slowly, apparently a little bit baffled by the strong reaction he was receiving " I'm just saying that if you are having problems with the practice of something, studying only the theory won't really help. You have to actually practise these spells. Like actually trying to use them in order to master them."

What he said actually made sense to Joanna. Why did she never thought of that before?

She sighed "Okay. Maybe you're right. I'll try that."

Black nodded "Yeah, do that. And don't get frustrated if you don't get these spells right at first. There is no shame in that. There is only shame if you stop trying."

A smile forced itself on Joanna's face. Surprisingly to her, his advice helped to calm the anxiousness that had been rumbling inside her.

"Thank you"

He nodded again, then starred at her for a moment. She could almost see how an idea was building up behind those bright grey eyes of his. "You know-", he started but stopped himself briefly. His mind seemed to race in search for the right words, while he ran through his shoulder long, black hair with one hand. When he spoke again his voice was firm "I could actually help you with that."

"Help me?", Joanna asked, thinking she did not hear him right at first "Why would want that? You already helped me with the advice you just gave me."

He cleared his throat "Well, I am actually not bad at Transfiguration, but I do have to take my final NEWT's this year and you know what they say: teaching is the best way of learning."

While Black was mostly known for being a notorious troublemaker, Joanna really had heard that he was actually doing pretty well in his classes. So maybe he could help her? Although she was never too prideful to accept help, she always wondered what her family might think if word would travel back to them that she needed extra tutoring from someone.

As if he was able to read her mind, he tore her from her musings: "If you're afraid for your reputation, we don't need to make big a show of it that we are helping each other out."

She starred him wide-eyed. "No!", she said quickly "I- … Don't think I would be ashamed of accepting your help or something like that..." Joanna paused for a second, trying to think of a way to explain the train of thought she had had. But then she decided to just leave it at that and gave him a little smile instead "You know what? Why not. I would be glad if you could help me."

It was like his whole face lit up after hearing that answer. "Great!", he exclaimed while leaping out of his chair "Do you know where the old Alchemy classrooms are?"

His sudden movement took her aback, but she answered him nonetheless "2nd floor, right?"

"Yup, see you there next week at the same time then?"

"Eh.. sure."

He gave her a short nod of approval, grabbed his bag from the ground and turned to leave. She heard a hasted "See you" from him and then he was gone.

Joanna sat there in silence for another few minutes, trying to make sense of this encounter. Eventually she gave up, gathered her stuff and began to make her way to her common room, still wondering about how, by Merlin's underwear, she was suddenly faced with the prospect of meeting both Black brothers weekly this year. _What a strange coincident._


End file.
